Being the Best Birth Partner: Jason’s Story

When my wife first suggested we do a Hypnobirthing course, I’ll be honest — I thought it was probably more for her than me. I assumed my role would be the usual: hold her hand, fetch some water, maybe tell her she’s doing a good job. But what I didn’t realise was that birth partners actually have a massive role to play — and without the tools I learned, I would’ve just been a bystander. Instead, I was able to show up for her in the way she needed most.

Before the big day

One of the first things I learned in Michelle’s workshop was how much of the preparation actually falls on me. From packing the hospital bag (and knowing what to pack) to making sure the car was loaded and ready, to even planning out snacks and comfort items for labour — these were things I could own. It took a huge load off my wife because she didn’t have to think about those practical details.

But it wasn’t just the logistics. I also learned how to time contractions properly, how to notice the parts of labour, and how to anticipate what she might need next. That meant when things kicked off, I wasn’t standing there asking, “What should I do?” — I already had a toolkit of ideas to draw from.

In the birth space

This is where it really hit me how important my role was. Labour isn’t quiet. It isn’t neat. My wife was moaning, groaning and making primal noises that, if I hadn’t been prepared, could have freaked me out. But thanks to the workshop, I knew this was normal. More importantly, I had my own relaxation tools so I could stay calm and steady — because the last thing she needed was for me to panic.

Instead, I was able to match my breathing with hers and help her regulate. I used massage techniques, acupressure points and even the double hip squeeze (a total game changer). I encouraged her to change positions when she was uncomfortable and offered different music depending on the energy she needed at the time. Sometimes it was upbeat and grounding, other times soft and calming.

I kept the water bottle close, handed her snacks when she needed a boost, and reminded her that she was safe and doing an amazing job. It was about being present, proactive, and quietly stepping in at the right moments — not just watching from the sidelines.

When she wanted the shower for pain relief, I was able to jump in there with her, hold her, and breathe with her. That’s something I never would’ve thought of on my own, but the education opened my eyes to how powerful those simple moments of connection could be.

Communicating with the care team

One of the things I’m most proud of is how I was able to advocate for her preferences. I’d studied them inside and out, and I’d learned the language to use with the staff (I now know what a placenta is!). When something came up that needed a decision, I could step in and ask the right questions without disturbing my wife’s focus. She didn’t need to be pulled out of her zone to have a conversation — I could handle it because we were on the same page.

This made such a difference. I felt like I was part of the team, not just the guy in the corner. And she knew she could fully let go and trust me to have her back.

The moment our baby was born

One of the greatest honours of my life was catching our baby when he entered the world. I never imagined I’d get the chance to do something like that, but because we had talked about our preferences and I felt confident enough to express them, I was given the opportunity. That moment will stay with me forever.

And then came skin-to-skin contact. I’ll admit, before Hypnobirthing, I had no idea how important that was for dads too. But being able to hold my newborn against my chest, feeling their tiny body relax into mine — it was indescribable. It wasn’t just my wife’s birth experience; it was our birth experience.

Why preparation matters

Looking back, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve coped without the Hypnobirthing workshop. If I hadn’t done it, I would’ve been lost — probably just pacing the room, feeling useless, and letting her down. Instead, I felt equipped. I had confidence, a clear role, and tools to keep both of us calm and connected through the whole experience.

Birth is unpredictable, and you can’t control every detail. But being prepared gave us the best chance at having the positive, empowering birth we wanted. For me, it wasn’t about taking over — it was about supporting my wife so she could go inward, trust her body, and do what it was designed to do.

If you’re about to become a dad or birth partner, don’t underestimate your role. You can be more than just “there” — you can be her anchor. And I promise you, the difference that makes is huge.

—Jason